racoma.netI love to write. I write to live. I live to love.

Being able to test drive cars for the major manufacturers does have its benefits. A few weeks back, my family and I had the Nissan X-Trail 4WD CVT for five days, and we decided to take it for a spin around town. One of the destinations we had in mind was Newport City, since we had not been here before. We decided to check out the place, and we found it to be just right for a mid-range to high-end mall, with boutiques and shops that cater to both upper B and A classes.

Of course, the highlight here was the casino, which we very much wanted to try. It’s not like an online casino, though, where you can play and win even in your pajamas. Folks going to the casino were in formal garb, and even in evening gowns. I was told this was the practice when playing certain games. Even the usual blackjack games will require something more elegant than suit and tie.

The arcade was also great. The games were new, and the environment was also enticing enough for players. My wife and I even joked that the kids who would be playing at the arcades today would be the folks who would be playing at the casino in a few years.

In all, it was an exciting experience, and we had a fun time exploring. I particularly liked the display of Volvo cars (and wondered when I would be able to review these for Pinoy Auto Blog myself). It might not be a great place for folks looking for casual fun, though, as playing at the casino would require some money to spend.

At some point in your life, you might sometimes feel that life has shortchanged you. Your family hates you. Your kids are unappreciative. Your spouse no longer has confidence in you. You have a dead end job, if you have one at all. You have mountains of bills to pay every month, and you struggle to make ends meet. You have a demanding boss, and your colleagues keep pulling you down. It’s often a cycle that you want to get out of. You want to do something good, something meaningful, and something that can be life-changing. But it’s always a struggle.

Sometimes, you compare. Other people are richer. Other people are happier and more fulfilled. They have more money, better gadgets, better education, a satisfying profession, a clearly-laid career path. You’re on the losing end. You drew the shortest straw. Your at a dead end. You’re in a sinkhole.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t have U-turns. You can’t just keep dwelling on the past, mulling on the what ifs and the bygones. If time machines existed, a lot of people will probably take advantage of the technology and keep on trying to correct mistakes of the past. But this would split the world into infinite universes, and there would be no single reality at all.

Where to turn to, then?

Perhaps, even if life doesn’t have U-turns it does offer some paths along the way, and you are the one who has the power to choose which to take and what to do. Only, there are no assurances that things will be easier. It’s always a tough thing to make decisions, and it’s sometimes even tougher to stand by these decisions.

Sometimes it just needs a bit of an effort. You need a push. You need a catalyst. It might be a great idea. It might be a person. It might be a tragedy. The important thing is to see those opportunities for what they are, and to act now, without blinking an eye. Know what you want and go for it.

The great thing about being the biggest loser is that when you’re at the bottom, there’s usually no other way but up.

Last month, my wife and I chaperoned on our kids’ first ever field trip, where one of the venues was a small theme park that also ran a pet store. As a souvenir, each of the participants was given a free goldfish in a bag. Yes! Free fish! we thought.

Who knew free could be so expensive?

We were advised we could wait until the next day to transfer the fish to a new container, since the bag had enough oxygen for 24 hours, and so that the fish could have time to adjust. We got a total of five fish, so we thought of first transferring them to a big fishbowl we had. The first day, one of the fish died, and my kids were devastated. The next day, two more died.

We weren’t really emotionally attached to the fish (they’re fish!), but we thought we might as well give them a good home, since they were given to us in goodwill (although I had a feeling the cost of fish was included in the tour package). So through the week, we found ourselves going crazy researching online about fish care. We discovered a lot of things about caring for goldfish and fish in general. We also realized that we had been doing a lot of things wrong!

Among the things we learned:

• Goldfish need space. They will usually require a ten-gallon tank for the first goldfish and an additional five or so gallons for each additional fish.
• Fish bowls are not ideal for goldfish. Ever see goldfish living in fishbowls on TV or the movies? Don’t be fooled. (One exception, though is Tish, who lived to a ripe old age of 43.)
• Goldfish are messy creatures. They will require a good filtration system.
• Goldfish are vegetarians. If you have aquatic plants, they will nibble and pull on them all day. We learned this the hard way when we found our plants floating all over early one morning.
• Fish need oxygen. We also learned this the hard way. We were wondering why the fish were always on the surface on our fishbowl. Apparently, they were breathing through the surface.
• Fish need a feeding schedule. If you overfeed them, they die.
• Fish need a balanced ecosystem. We also learned that it’s a bad idea to change your tank’s water 100%, and so now we only change about 20 to 25% twice a week.

One good thing we discovered is that my wife and I now have yet another shared passion. We didn’t really spend a lot of money for our aquarium setup, since we borrowed some old equipment and accessories from my in-laws (the expenses totaled to less than $20, but I have a feeling it’s going to grow). But we do get to spend time each day taking care of the fish, feeding them, cleaning their tank, and even observing their strange, fishy behavior.

All this from people who aren’t particularly fond of animals (although I must admit I have an affinity for cats).

You learn new things everyday. What’s surprising is that you get these from the most unexpected of sources.

After seven years of marriage, my wife and I have discovered a common passion, which is television. We find ourselves excitedly waiting for new episodes of our favorite shows to air. Sometimes we download them and watch series in marathon.

Maybe we’re just too busy with our everyday lives that we have no recourse but to be couch potatoes. Or maybe we just like the medium so much because of its convenience. And yet I think it’s deeper than that.

We’re not really TV persons. We barely have enough time to sleep or have time for ourselves, and spending time just sitting and watching is a luxury we can’t always just give in to. Heck, we can’t even watch the evening news in its entirety. But, perhaps, due to that fact, we’re consciously trying to use that downtime to spend quality minutes with each other. TV shows usually last for 43 or so minutes (sans the commercials), and so why not spend those 43 minutes of togetherness?

Add to that the fact that most of the shows that we grow a liking to are those with which we can relate, to some extent. Lately, our interest has been in this series called Life Unexpected. It’s not the most popular of shows, and it’s somewhere near the bottom of the US popularity/ratings ladder (considering the top 140 shows). But the series has a solid fan-base consisting of people who can relate to the show. It’s a story about family, albeit a quirky and unconventional one. It’s a story about loving in the face of difficulty, and understanding in the face of fear.

It’s not so much a drama as it is a lighthearted show. I find myself laughing out loud at the situations the characters are in, although online reviews elsewhere would also write about tearjerker moments. Truth is, being a young father, and having experienced dreadful losses in my family at this age, I have come to appreciate and relate to programs like this. It’s one of those shows where characters can be both the good guy and the antagonist. It’s one of those shows where you see how life can just drop a bomb on one character, who has to learn to deal with things. Yes, just like the rest of us.

I often tell my wife how I admire people who create and write good and watch-worthy TV series. As a struggling writer, one of my dreams is to write or create a concept that would eventually be produced as a pilot and then picked up by networks. It’s a far fetched dream, I know. But, I’ve read about someone who has gone that path and is now producing a show now in its second season. That person advises: just keep on writing.

And that’s just what I’ll do–along with watching, that is.

Have you been to the movies lately? In the past few years, you might have chanced upon a few films that dealt with people using avatars to socialize with the environment or with other people. Technology has not advanced to the point of controlling avatars as in Avatar, surrogates in Surrogates, or even virtual-reality selves as in the Matrix Still, in some ways, this can be approximated by how we deal with each other in the virtual world through social networks like Facebook and Twitter.

In some ways, it might be a necessity. In some ways, it can be a life choice.

Sometimes one might ask: are you your social network profile?

Have you lost enough touch with reality that you prefer to interact with other people online? Or, has the social network been ingrained into your life that whatever happens to events in the virtual world deeply affect what happens with your actual life?

The great thing with social networks is that they have let us interact with other people in ways previously not possible. We have found long lost friends. We have reunited classmates and cliques. We have established identities and communities online.

What happens to the individual, though? In social networking ,you are shielded behind the safety of your computer. You might be bolder at doing something you haven’t imagined doing in real life. It’s easy to do something when the repercussions might not necessarily be felt in real life. However, in some cases, what you do in the virtual world extends into real life? Do you still have a firm grasp of what is real?

I sometimes think that social networks are a misnomer. Yes, they are networks, in that they let users connect to other users online. However, as for being social, that might be where the trouble lies. It’s social inasmuch as you can connect with friends. But it sometimes draws you away from actually connecting with your friends, whether online or offline. For many people, social networking is about having the most number of followers or friends, or having the most “likes” or “favorites” for a certain post. The social interaction is no longer there. It’s sometimes a mindless maze of shout-outs and me-toos.

Of course the best way to socialize is to actually be with people, physically. I worry that people today are no longer aware of the value of interacting with people face-to-face. I must admit that I’m a bit lacking in that department, perhaps not having enough self-confidence to go out to the world and meet people. But I do put a premium on the value of being able to see someone in a face-to-face encounter. Or, at the very least, there’s value in someone actually reaching out and sending a nice email, or a text or an IM saying hello.

Is there still value in human interaction? Or are we on our way to becoming simply avatars of ourselves?

Writers have quirks. It’s a fact of life. In fact, I can say that everyone has quirks. One way or another, you have certain habits, lifestyle choices, or even simple mannerisms that set you apart from everyone else. When you work in a supposedly creative setting, you want everything to be in place so you can think and do your thing.

A lot of freelancers, online workers and telecommuters work in their pajamas. After all, why bother to dress up? No one’s going to see you, anyway. You’ve probably just risen out of bed, made coffee, and checked your email inbox. Why not start working on that article, website layout or client call, while you’re at it?

The problem with working in your pajamas is that it might not necessarily get you in a mood to be productive. Some people might feel less professional if they are not in decent attire. You’re talking to clients. Won’t it help if you at least feel good? Won’t you feel confident if you’ve at least showered?

Still, some people might prefer to have the freedom of working in their PJs. There’s no harm in that. But here are a few things you can do to become better at it.

Clean up. Working in your boxers or nighties doesn’t necessarily mean you have to go to your computer straight from bed, complete with disheveled hair and drool running down your cheek. At least get cleaned up. Wash your face and brush your teeth. If you have time, take a shower first. Go to work clean and fresh.

Get everything else out of the way. It’s nice to work in a situation in which you have no boss to hound you or colleagues to peer over your shoulder every five minutes. But there might be other distractions that you’d like to attend to first, so you can focus on your work. Brew that coffee now. Start that laundry cycle now. Make your bed now. If you put it off until later, you will end up having some nagging feeling that you meant to do something, and this could distract you from work every few minutes or so.

Wear your best PJs. Sure, you can go to work in your PJs. But have you seen Hugh Hefner photographed in a threadbare robe? Threadbare clothes can sometimes be comfortable as sleepwear. But if you’re spending your workday in your PJs, then get yourself some good PJs. You’ll be able to work better if you feel more decent.

Of course, “working in your PJs” does not necessarily mean literally wearing pajamas. Any sort of comfortable clothing will do. Some actually work in their underwear and probably earn more than the rest of us do! More conservative persons would probably be comfy in a tracksuit or a T-shirt and shorts.

Working in your PJs doesn’t mean you have to be less productive than a suit-and-tie person. You’re being practical, and you’re enjoying the flexibility that working online affords you. Still, you will need to make some preparations, so you will be productive while you work.

In a few days it would be my seventh year as a father. It’s more than that, actually, if you consider the time my first daughter in my wife’s womb. And it has been such an interesting journey since then.

Attending Sunday mass this Fathers’ day, the priest gave an interesting deconstruction of how a father should be. He gave us three Ds for fatherhood: Dedication, Decision-making, and a willingness to Die to oneself.

Dedication means being there for your family, in your own way, no matter what. It means doing what’s necessary for one’s family. It means working for one’s family. And sometimes it means playing–especially applicable if you have kids. A lot of fathers today have lost this sense of dedication. Sometimes, I feel and think as if I’ve been missing out, as well.

Decision-making involves having strong character. While, arguably, deicions in a family are jointly made with the wife (and sometimes the kids), it’s often the head of the household who has a final say on decisions. And in this case, being strong and brave does not necessarily mean that it’s your choices and decisions that have to be followed. But, it’s doing something or deciding on something even if it’s not necessarily the most pleasant or the easiest thing to do.

Dying to oneself is perhaps the biggest and most challenging requirement of being a good father, as the priest’s homily stressed. It’s not physically dying (although it is a possibility). Rather, it’s prioritizing your family’s needs over all else. It’s pushing yourself to the limit to give them a good living. It’s giving your kid the best cut of meat when you’re starving. It’s letting your kid watch cartoons when your favorite show is on at the other channel. It’s paying for a good education even when the same amount of money can buy you a lot of gadgets.

Sometimes, it’s not even being the good guy that you “die” to yourself. Sometimes, being a father may have to entail being the bad guy–the one who scolds, who punishes, if for the good of your child or the family. It’s earning everyone’s ire for doing what you think is right.

In other words, it means sacrifice. It doesn’t necessarily mean being on the losing end of the deal. It doesn’t mean you’d rather be selfish. But it simply means showing your love through simple, meaningful, and often practical ways.

Sometimes we forget how it is to be good fathers. Sometimes we forget to be good parents, good spouses, good siblings, children, friends, even. What’s important is to make a conscious effort to try becoming a little better each day.

Fathers’ day is not only for commemorating dads all around. It’s also a day for us dads to reflect on how we have been as fathers to our children, and husbands to our wives. It’s a day for us to try and see how we can do better. And with optimism, this should not be the end-all be-all of fatherhood, as there are 364 other days of the year one should constantly and consistenly be a good father and husband.

image credit: flickr/gloq

photo credit: rahady

The first time I used a word processor was in the late 1980′s (or early 1990′s). Back then, WordStar was the most popular option, at least to my knowledge. I was fortunate enough to experience something that I think was better, though. The IBM compatible I used at work came preloaded with WordPerfect, and so that was my first exposure to the foray of word processors.

Watching the written word go from screen to paper, back then, was quite a wonder. Computers didn’t have GUIs, and most monitors didn’t have color. Print preview was a luxury only a few people could afford. You, therefore, had to know the meanings of various onscreen markup symbols by heart. And because mice were quite rare, you had to know all sorts of keyboard shortcuts and commands (most of which still work, with some variance).

Today, modern word processors are full of features and functionality. You can insert graphics, cliparts, create tables, insert different headers and footers, separate content by sections, and all sorts of bells and whistles. You can even find online versions of these document management programs, such as Google Docs, with some of the bells and whistles that their local counterparts have, with the added functionality of working from just about any browser, and from anywhere with an internet connection.

One thing remains the same, though. The quality of work still relies on the one typing on the keyboard.

I know how some of the best writers and commentators used to prefer old-school technology, such as typewriters, to create their best pieces. Somehow, the presence of all those bells and whistles might be daunting and distracting. Remember when Word 2007 first came out? A lot of people complained against the ribbon interface, saying it was confusing. Well, innovation is supposed to bring about easier ways of doing things. But I guess the human brain isn’t programmed to take innovation that easily. It’s very difficult to unlearn habits and practices you’ve already ingrained into your being, even if those habits and practices are old fashioned and stifling.

Still, when it comes to writing, I think simplicity is best. There may be many tools and applications that can help the technical writer produce his content. But I would go for something that’s distraction-free.

I’ve recently installed Dark Room on my Windows machines. Somehow, I’m enjoying the plain text on black screen again, like I used to. (Well, WordPerfect was white-on-blue, but Dark Room can be configured as such.) It’s not so much the feeling of being old-school. But for a person who’s easily distracted like myeslf, I like the fact that I can launch the application in full screen and just start writing. Sure, you can run Word in full-screen and change the colors, but it’s just not the same.

In fact, I’ve started working on my oldest laptop, for a change. I’ve just installed Windows 7, and the speed boost is great. The lack of bells and whistles let me focus on what’s important.

Going old school can sometimes be so refreshing.

photo credit: Mel B.

A recent study by the Pew Internet & American Life Project suggests that young people have grown bored with blogging.

Meanwhile, the use of social networking applications (except Twitter) has been on the rise. Is this yet another indication of a fickle population with a very short attention span?

While blogging among adults as a whole has remained steady, the prevalence of blogging within specific age groups has changed dramatically in recent years. Specifically, a sharp decline in blogging by young adults has been tempered by a corresponding increase in blogging among older adults.

Sometimes I ask myself why I still maintain several blogs. These days, I’m so busy I rarely get the chance to regularly post even on my main blogs. I remember the time last year when I promised myself to write at least one substantial post here each day. For a time, I succeeded. I often took a few minutes each morning to clear my mind, and try to meditate on the events of the previous or recent days. Or sometimes, I try to plot the direction I’d like my day to have. And then I would write.

Due to one reason or another, I got tired. And now I only get to post one to two articles per month. Still, I tell myself, better to write something nice and well thought-out rather than some dull, inconsistent, babble not worthy of a read.

I don’t think I’ve grown bored with blogging. Every day I still write. It’s a different kind of writing–definitely different from blogging. I do consider blogging as a medium, but writing still remains the primary activity. And so, while I have moved my focus away from using my blogs as a medium, I have not moved away from writing at all.

Or, perhaps, the fact that I don’t consider myself losing interest in blogging means I’m getting old.

photo credit: Anonymous Account

Thomas Edison said that genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration. I can say that much is the same with creativity. You can only get so far with inspiration, but you actually have to do something about it in order to actually be creative. Creativity involves both the output and the process through which that output comes about.

This comes to my mind because of a few things I have noticed this week. I seem to be quite reactive to certain inputs that influence me. In particular, what I write about and what I do are often affected by some of the most mundane of things that I come across.

Watching a film the other day, for instance, has inspired me to pursue some things similar to actions done by the protagonist. This is largely in line with my profession, and I was able to relate to the protagonist very well. I would hope that outcomes are as positive in my case as it was in the film (which was biographical, therefore giving me much optimism).

Sometimes it’s obvious, but sometimes, the source of inspiration might not really be fully related to the choices and courses of action that I would do, but still relevant to some extent. I read an advertisement for a mobile service yesterday morning, which inspired me to do some hacks and tweaks on one mobile device I already own. Reading one thing had pushed me to do something. I was glad I succeeded this time, as I had actually been searching for answers and results since more than a year ago. Sometimes the answer can be glaringly obvious, but we always see past them.

Humans constantly react to various stimuli, after all. Inspiration is just one of them. Some would think of inspiration as being touched by a muse, having a vision, and being shown some secret of the universe that can only be bestowed on a chosen few. In reality, though, inspiration can come from the most mundane of things. Like Archimedes, you can get that Eureka! moment in the bath (it has certainly happened to me several times). You don’t need special things to be inspired. Look around you. Anything and everything can be a source of ideas and inspiration. It all depends on how you look at things, and how these affect you.

The question is how well do you react? And how do you react?